With you guys, I have always talked about technical things in java technology in this blog. Today, I want to break the rule and want to share my learning in personal and professional front. I am sharing my thoughts because I want/hope you guys to take little things seriously which matter a lot in life.
Believe me when I decided to write this post, there were lots of things that came across my mind and which I wanted to include in this post but couldn’t do. I want this post to keep simple and in limit so that it does not loose it’s focus on what is most important and it’s intent which is to make you ‘pause and think few minutes’.
“Life is a journey and it could be understood only backwards; but it must be lived forward.”
Assuming my most friends through this blog are java professional, most of us live two lives everyday. One is personal when we are at home and second when we are at work where we have certain different rules and environment, which we got in outside work. I will share my learnings on both fronts. I will start from personal life because it requires more attention and most often neglected.
5 Life lessons for personal life
1) Your habits shape your life. Choose them carefully
This has been the best learning for me. We usually do not think about things, we do repeatedly in our daily life. And most of us do not realize that most of things which we do everyday actually become our habit. These everyday activities are sometimes good and sometimes bad. All of them actually become habit one day whether you know it or not. While good habits will shape your future in positive ways, where bad habits will bring you harm from multiple dimensions. Choose your habits carefully. Support good habits. Fight bad habits if you already got them.
The best way to determine if a habit is good or bad is very simple, an honest analysis by you only. Take a pen and paper, list down things you do everyday. Analyze them and their long time effects. Choose what’s good for you and what is not. Make a bold decision and take the control on these things.
In start you will find that it is very very difficult to change a habit. Here, I got a advice for you. If I remember it correctly, it is from “You can win” by Shiv Khera. I do not remember the exact words, but I remember the intent.
“If you want to control your everyday bad habits, just delay them as much as you can. Soon they will not be there.”
E.g. if you have a bad habit of smoking, try to delay the for 1 hour then 2 hour or more, depending on your regular timings. Then increase this delay even more. Sooner you will find that you can avoid it for many days. You actually got your control back. Fight is easier from here.
This approach can be applied to any bad habit. Take pen and paper. Start now.
2) Honesty is the best policy
This is second major step towards a rewarding life. Be honest. Appreciate honesty. Value Honesty. It is the best thing you can offer to your employer, your friends and everyone you care. Now the question is, honesty in what, how and why?
There is an old saying that we should always tell the truth because that way we don’t have to remember what we said. Also, how you will feel when you come to know that person you deal with is not honest. This feeling is same for others. Just think about it.
A cross argument can be made that some job requires you to tell one or two lies, specially marketing. Seriously? Do you think, truth will be hidden all the time? It will not come out? Any profession lives on trust and trust comes from honesty. This trust is actually converted to profits. More the trust and more the rewards. Think again. What if you actually get fake currency in return? Will you say it then also, that couple of lies are OK?
“Honesty is the best policy because no matter how good you are at telling lies, the truth will always come out.”
3) Your family and friends are the best you got. Preserve them with all your heart
Life is all about little things happen to you when you are planning for big things. These little things are mostly attached to your family and friends. This consist of moments you spend with them, cherish with them. Most of you will agree with this, so I will not make the discussion long. I will just revisit a quote here:
“I wish everybody gets what they want in their life, so that they can know that this is not the answer”.
4) A day you didn’t have a good laugh is a day wasted
A good laughter is the best medicine. It has no side effects and brings lots of positive energy. Positive energy helps you in facing the tough circumstances. I actually got a big funny bone. I love to laugh and smile all the time. People who know me personally, know it very well. I like humor and appreciate it also, provided it does not play with somebody’s emotions.
5) Be kind. Do something for less fortunates
Don’t you feel that you are the beloved creation of GOD and GOD has been very kind to give you a very comfortable life. You got a good amount of fun in childhood, you got a fair chance to struggle in adulthood and you got a job in some MNC or a good company. When I look back at my early days, we didn’t have so much to spend we have today, but we never slept hungry. Its very big thing guys. We are few among most fortunate people in this world. We must respect this fact and remember it all the time.
It also means that we must care about people who are less fortunate. They are forced to sleep hungry. They have to struggle in every step to survive the battle of life. Unfortunately, world wise, percentage of these less fortunates is much higher than people like us, who got a comparatively easy life. It’s our duty to share what we got in our life. At the end of day, the fact which matter is, how many lives you changed or touched. If you changed none, you wasted your life.
There are other things also on personal life and I will share them in future if time allowed.
5 Life lessons for professional Life
1) Hard work always pays. Never ever give up your dreams
Nothing pays like hard work. It always yields into big fortune. All you need is patience and more hard work. I ardently believe in the quote of Thomas Edison:
“Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration”.
This hard work should be directed also towards any particular goal. That goal is your dream. Always dream big. Do not be scared of obstacles. Hard work is the basis for everything worthwhile you will achieve in life. There’s no easy way to do hard work. You have to find your passion; stay focused, and keeps at the task until the job is done. You have to stay obsessively motivated.
I have worked very hard to make this blog. It’s not among the top blogs in world, but it surely is on the right track. In short time of one year, it is ranked much above many old established blogs. It has brought a lot of attention from quality minds towards me, my work and has brought some money also ;-) . I always knew that hard work pays, now I believe it also.
Read More : How to start a new blog
2) Learn anything new everyday. Make everyday count
This has been my motto of life from long time, specially when I started blogging. I specifically search for the topics which I do not know about. I create a list of such topics. and try to learn them as much as possible. At least one topic per day. Being a human being sometimes I skip it, but I always to try to clear this backlog with more speed only.
Please do not confuse here with only tech related items. Find something in your personal life as well or your hobby or your creativity. Anything new. e.g. making a particular dish, learning a new magic trick or read everything about a cool app. You can put anything in this list.
So far, for me rewards has been much more than my expectations. I have got a lot of confidence at work place. I have never failed in any technical interview in last one year. That’s a very fascinating thing for many people. Well, I achieved it just by following this simple rule. Try yourself.
3) We are better when we are connected. Make connections
This is actually the punch line in ‘Bank of America’, my present employer. But this fact I had learned much before joining the bank. You must have heard that Man is a social animal. If you want to grow in professional life, make contacts and keep them alive. These connections will help you when you are struck in complex situations. You can get more growth opportunity, because you are the one, everybody knows.
Here, I am not recommending any kind of flattering to anybody. Flattering though succeed sometimes, but not in long run. All, I am asking is to socialize. Learn about family members of your colleagues. Talk about them. Make offline conversations personal. Make colleagues your friends. Do not ping them always for meetings. Ask them to have cup of tea in cafeteria. Same goes for your clients. Log into meetings 10 minutes before start, and if they are available, talk to them about their family, their culture, their festivals or anything you can think of. All such things transform into large number of connections you will have in industry.
4) Never hesitate in asking questions. Make active participation in meetings
I have been a lazy person in starting of my career. I was also very shy because of various reasons. Whenever team meeting happened at that time, I was almost quite in all of them. Sometimes I had questions, but I hesitated in asking them. You know what, they never got answered. Any question you never ask, will never get answered. As simple as it is.
The opportunities I lost at that time, I still can remember easily because they were just too bright to loose. I lost them. But, I will never do the same mistake in future. Actually, I have improved a lot in this area.
Lesson: Gain confidence. Always have a word in team meetings, seminars or town-halls. Make your presence noticed.
5) Communication skills are your best weapon. Sharp them everyday
Most of you agree that English the most dominating language for various reasons. I respect my mother tongue ‘Hindi’ very much and prefer to talk in my personal life. But I can easily say that English is more important for making a rewarding life in our industry. English is de-facto global language. Your work responsibilities require you to communicate with people with different culture, and language. English fills the gap. So if you want to communicate with them, master the language. Once you master the language, more opportunities come in your way.
Please note that when I am saying English is important, it means a good command over the English language. You should communicate effectively. You should have a good command over vocabulary also. It is the first step towards above four lessons too. It can put a lot of confidence in you, so that you can succeed on above four points as well.
There has been other things, which I wanted to talk about, but leaving them for now to limit this post.
I will appreciate if you share your thoughts with us. I really want to know about you as well.
Happy Learning !!
Evan
Thanks for your class. I’m a boy from China ,who like java very much,learned a lot from your blog.
Mohan
It’s a nice article keep writing this kind of articles.
Prashanth
Good Article!!
Rully
Nice post , I’ll keep that in mind
Amitkumar Panchal
Thanks.
This is a bonus on top of Java technology and helpful in day-to-day life. I couldn’t stop reading this again and again. Really helpful.
Immanuel Aggrey
thanks for your advise learning a lot from your blog…
ImKyungSu
Great life lesson sentence. Great Job Lokesh!
Venkat J
The way you designed your blog and your clear cut explanation is really appreciable. More over, you share your personal thoughts which is inspiring.
Thanks for all your work:)
neha
An eye opening post.Thanks you so much for writing! :)
Subhasis
Nice to see your post.touch my heart.
chris
Hi Lokesh,
I found your site searching about JAVA but found this post. Awesome, really good rules to have in personal and professional life.
Sailaja
Loved your article. I found something interesting and inspiring . Seems you learnt a lot from “Life”.
Vineesh
This is one of the best article/blog I have ever went through. This is inspiring, thanks for sharing such good writings. I decided to follow some of the lessons you mentioned and hope it will be never a failure.
Bhargav
This article is simply superb!!!. I was looking for this kind of articles to see change in my lifestyle.
Ganesh
Thanks Lokesh for everything!
I found out your website today when searching for DropWizard framework and in past couple of hours I have gone through quite a few articles. I simply loved it!
I am a software engineer for past 12+ years but I never really did coding projects specially Java based. I was excellent at coding since my college days but I had a rough start of my career and ended up in manual qa and build release related roles. For past couple of years I am trying hard on switching to java developer role but still unsuccessful. I have completed java certification and solved lots of leetcode.com solutions but having hard time convincing hiring manager that I can be a good coder. Hence I am learning some java frameworks. Your website would be very useful but do you have any particular advice for me on this as to how I should proceed?
Thanks
Ganesh
Lokesh Gupta
Hi Ganesh, you are in really tough situation. I will suggest to give another thought to this idea and if you still find it a worthy goal, then definitely go for it. Hypothetically, If I was in your position, I will first apply for relevant IJPs in current organization. You have 12+ yrs of experience, its your biggest asset. Use your connections, ask your friends and previous colleagues. Basically, steps are pretty obvious, only how you execute them will decide your success. Good Luck !!
ARUNKUMAR
Hi Friend,
You are such a person ,making positive effect on all who read this blog.. Good Work . I appreciate this work from my whole heart…. keep going man.. lessons to be learned from you… Thanks ….
Lokesh Gupta
Thanks for your kind words.
Teja
Very nice article Lokesh. I always like your blog and it’s contents.
I didn’t know that you know me, unless you wrote, “It has brought a lot of attention from quality minds towards me”. ( <– Funny bone)
Keep going man.
Lokesh Gupta
I like your reply :-)
Mamta
Very nice and inspirational post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thanks :)
Abhinav
“Be kind. Do something for less fortunates..”
Greatttt.. I always keep reading blogs and watching videos/interviews of generous personalities.. and I found many traits common among them…. But this one is the most self-less attribute and the most positive one among all of them (as per my limited Consciousness :) ).
You’ll always feel divine satisfaction and enthusiasm after you do any such act, be it helping other with materialistic or non-materialistic requirements.
Thanks for listing these qualities :)
Abhi
Anand
Great job Lokesh !!!
All the technical articles are gr8 and this one too !!! Keep it up !!!
SANJAY BURNWAL
These are common points that we are facing in our life but knowing /Unknowing we are ignoring to improve. I think we should focus on these. Great Job Lokesh!
Mathichandra
Thank you Lokesh!!!
This blog is really an inspiration and a great guide!
I like the point which you mentioned about socializing and the language to communicate (English). I believe along with the technical skills one must have these two to shine in their carrier.
anand
Good inspiration from this blog….
Mohammad Imran
Awesome..
Jayaganesh
Really Good…! Thanks.,
vidya
Its superb. Thank you for posting this
Nataraj Boya
Hi Lokesh,
These are the wonderful values that everybody should think and keep in positive track whatever you had shared here.
Thanks for that, keep posting. :)
Murali
Great Article . I want to workout on good and bad habits, I like that concept.
abhijit
Thanks u for sharing this good values
Mauricio Barbosa
Congratulations!
Very good article!
I have been practiced some these lessons by a few years ago and it’s changing my life.
Thanks for share it with us. ;)
Edwin
Nice list! I would like for you to be a bit more specific about hard work. People often confuse hard work as needing to be busy: “As long as I keep doing stuff, somewhere I must reach my goal” or “If I throw enough balls in the air, one of them is about to stick somewhere sometime”. In my opinion: Reaching your goals has nothing to do with hard work. It has to do with inspired or innerly aligned work. It has to do with flow. People who are in a flow can seem to be doing hard work for people who do not understand their inner motivation/inspiration, who look at it from the outside. If you reach flow you will notice action seems to be automatic and opportunities seem to pop out of nowhere to support you in your next inspired action. For the person doing it is has no connotation with work, let alone hard work. It is just fun, it is energy giving, not taking. Of course no goal will ever be reached without doing some action, but just working hard wil not get you there. I think this concept of needing to work hard has come about from the concept of The American Dream. But that concept has already been misinterpreted in my opinion. Most immigrants came to the US on the motivation to make a better living than where they came from and for most of them the promise of the freedom to make their own way was so much inspiration that motivation to take action was natural to them. Most people however equate hard work with struggle and hardship and demotivation and an energy drain. So could you please elaborate on what you mean by hard work?
Lokesh Gupta
Hi Edwin, I really appreciate your thoughts. Regarding “hard work”, I wrote this “This hard work should be directed also towards any particular goal.” That says everything which is in my mind.
I agree that only hard work “MAY NOT” be enough, but that’s always your best bet. To make clear, I am not talking about mindless hard work without any planning. Allow me to quote an example here of the ‘Rickshaw Pullers’, perhaps in India they do most hard physical work. But what’s their goal? Only to earn something at end of day, and wait for another day. They do it fine everyday, because they choose to do so.
Targeted hard work is very important. Not everyone of us (including me) is entrepreneur today, but we do stand a big chance if we do something targeted day in-day out, with lots of failures in between.
That’s what I understand by hard work. I may be wrong, completely wrong. And I will be happy with any thought provoking argument.
Chandru
Thanks sir..!! really inspiring one.. hats off
shiv
Thanks Lokesh !
I am very glad after reading your life lessons. Today I learnt something different from java. :) Thanks.!
Pankaj
I learnt somthing new today. Thanks
Prithvi
Good article. Thank you for sharing.
smehedi
Dear Lokesh, I truely admire your efforts of spreading the words of knowledge and wisdom. This is extremely valuable for others who want to learn. Please carry it onwards.
Lokesh
Thank You !!
shekhar patankar
Good article Sir !
Thanks…
Viddya Sagar
This is absolutely true …..Thanks for this article.
Divya N
You are awesome !! the way you put things to make us understand is amazing …Keep going… :-)
satrio
thx a lot, great article and really inspiring for me. you never know, this your non tech article from programmer to another programmer can change programmer life :)
Bala
Great man!!! Inspired a lot!!! Gonna start write my own blog soon!!!
Amrit
Thanks Lokesh,
This is very good thoughts .
Inspired me a lot and i read it 2 times in last 3 months.
Keep going buddy i am always in touch.
Lokesh
Thanks amrit.
Abou
Really nice post ! well said,
Thks
nisheeth
Well Said Lokesh…. This is really helpfull. Thanks
Rama
Nice post..Truly movitaing..:)
prasad
Thanks a lot . it gives good energy in day to day activities.
Partha
Hi Lokesh,
I love reading your posts. From this post one thing I would ask you.
In a meeting suppose you have a query and you feel this question may be silly.Others may make it a fun.How do you handle this kind of scenario. People might be there who don’t have the answer for this.But still they feel to make it a fun.How do you handle these? :-)
Lokesh
In corporate, everybody plays for himself. You choose what’s good for you, and do it. no second thought on it. You have a query which needs to be resolved, just make it happen.
In any sensible team, everybody invites questions and believe me, there are no silly questions. There are other guys in same meeting who wants to ask the same question as you. They also face the same dilemma as you. It’s “who first” matter.
Partha
Thanks Lokesh for the reply.
Gabrielle Liddy
Hi Partha,
I am reading your comment in August 2016. I hope that in the intervening 2 years you have got up the nerve to ask questions in meetings. Are you?
Incidentally, your use of English highlights a strange thing. You say “making it a fun” when I guess you fear that others will laugh at you in a mean way. But really the silly questions do make work fun for everyone. Unbelievably some people will laugh at your question, others will be secretly wishing they could ask it themselves and there are a third group: the ones who did not know enough to even think of the question. So think of them, the third group and make it fun.
KIshore Kumar
Thank you very much Lokesh. This article helps me a lot.
Shyam Agrawal
Because of you , I got to know about
1. Real Java Concepts and
2. Earn confidence to face Interview and got success as well.
Thanks a lot for all things ..
Lokesh
Thanks for kind words. And congrats for your success.
Vivek Hingorani
Is there a way I can contribute to your blog?
Lokesh
Sure. Please read the instructions here: https://howtodoinjava.com/share-your-knowledge/
sami
super lokesh
B Prakash
Well Said!! . Its Inspiring..
Manjunath
A good and Useful artical
Luther
Thanks lot
Prathap
Its absolutely true.
Ramesh M
I am following your blog, quite a while for now and learning new things which otherwise i may not learn in my current project.But this one will be the best of the lot..Cheers buddy..keep going….continue inspiring..Thanks a lot for your efforts
Subba Reddy
Very good practices in personal and professional life…every one must follow..
Prahallad
Really, It’s nice one.
umanathmca
Well, we r on the line
thiru
Really it is nice post.Thanks for the post. If it is possible add more post like this. It will be an inspiration for many people like me.
sanjeevathejaswi
Wow. Its Awesome ..
Sandeep Kumar Gajengi (Sparky Sunny)
All i can say is my 10 minutes were not wasted..inspired a lot :-)
sha
Lokesh,
Nice post, These are all small points which we know but Unfortunately we are ignoring to do small things and try to change BIG things. A famous saying “Knowing is not doing, doing is doing.”
Hari
Inspiring one ……. I came to know very good points….
RavindraReddy KVS
This really true… all these life lessons are very important to be succeeded in life.
sudhakar
Good post and useful info for daily life of a programmer..
Anoop Paul
Inspiring..!!!
pioneerBhawna
I liked what you said abt “learning something new everyday”…I am definitely gonna implement it in my life.Cheers buddy…
Sarang
Well said!!!
Jayakumar Jayaraman
Cool……
RangaReddy
Thanks for your very valuable 10 life lessons.after reading this post i got positive energy thanks a lot.