10 Life Lessons I have Learned in Last Few Years

With you guys, I have always talked about technical things in java technology in this blog. Today, I want to break the rule and want to share my learning in personal and professional front. I am sharing my thoughts because I want/hope you guys to take little things seriously which matter a lot in life.

Believe me when I decided to write this post, there were lots of things that came across my mind and which I wanted to include in this post but couldn’t do. I want this post to keep simple and in limit so that it does not loose it’s focus on what is most important and it’s intent which is to make you ‘pause and think few minutes’.

“Life is a journey and it could be understood only backwards; but it must be lived forward.”

Assuming my most friends through this blog are java professional, most of us live two lives everyday. One is personal when we are at home and second when we are at work where we have certain different rules and environment, which we got in outside work. I will share my learnings on both fronts. I will start from personal life because it requires more attention and most often neglected.

5 Life lessons for personal life

1) Your habits shape your life. Choose them carefully

This has been the best learning for me. We usually do not think about things, we do repeatedly in our daily life. And most of us do not realize that most of things which we do everyday actually become our habit. These everyday activities are sometimes good and sometimes bad. All of them actually become habit one day whether you know it or not. While good habits will shape your future in positive ways, where bad habits will bring you harm from multiple dimensions. Choose your habits carefully. Support good habits. Fight bad habits if you already got them.

The best way to determine if a habit is good or bad is very simple, an honest analysis by you only. Take a pen and paper, list down things you do everyday. Analyze them and their long time effects. Choose what’s good for you and what is not. Make a bold decision and take the control on these things.

In start you will find that it is very very difficult to change a habit. Here, I got a advice for you. If I remember it correctly, it is from “You can win” by Shiv Khera. I  do not remember the exact words, but I remember the intent.

“If you want to control your everyday bad habits, just delay them as much as you can. Soon they will not be there.”

E.g. if you have a bad habit of smoking, try to delay the for 1 hour then 2 hour or more, depending on your regular timings. Then increase this delay even more. Sooner you will find that you can avoid it for many days. You actually got your control back. Fight is easier from here.

This approach can be applied to any bad habit. Take pen and paper. Start now.

2) Honesty is the best policy

This is second major step towards a rewarding life. Be honest. Appreciate honesty. Value Honesty. It is the best thing you can offer to your employer, your friends and everyone you care. Now the question is, honesty in what, how and why?

There is an old saying that we should always tell the truth because that way we don’t have to remember what we said. Also, how you will feel when you come to know that person you deal with is not honest. This feeling is same for others. Just think about it.

A cross argument can be made that some job requires you to tell one or two lies, specially marketing. Seriously? Do you think, truth will be hidden all the time? It will not come out? Any profession lives on trust and trust comes from honesty. This trust is actually converted to profits. More the trust and more the rewards. Think again. What if you actually get fake currency in return? Will you say it then also, that couple of lies are OK?

“Honesty is the best policy because no matter how good you are at telling lies, the truth will always come out.”

3) Your family and friends are the best you got. Preserve them with all your heart

Life is all about little things happen to you when you are planning for big things. These little things are mostly attached to your family and friends. This consist of moments you spend with them, cherish with them. Most of you will agree with this, so I will not make the discussion long. I will just revisit a quote here:

“I wish everybody gets what they want in their life, so that they can know that this is not the answer”.

4) A day you didn’t have a good laugh is a day wasted

A good laughter is the best medicine. It has no side effects and brings lots of positive energy. Positive energy helps you in facing the tough circumstances. I actually got a big funny bone. I love to laugh and smile all the time. People who know me personally, know it very well. I like humor and appreciate it also, provided it does not play with somebody’s emotions.

5) Be kind. Do something for less fortunates

Don’t you feel that you are the beloved creation of GOD and GOD has been very kind to give you a very comfortable life. You got a good amount of fun in childhood, you got a fair chance to struggle in adulthood and you got a job in some MNC or a good company. When I look back at my early days, we didn’t have so much to spend we have today, but we never slept hungry. Its very big thing guys. We are few among most fortunate people in this world. We must respect this fact and remember it all the time.

It also means that we must care about people who are less fortunate. They are forced to sleep hungry. They have to struggle in every step to survive the battle of life. Unfortunately, world wise, percentage of these less fortunates is much higher than people like us, who got a comparatively easy life. It’s our duty to share what we got in our life. At the end of day, the fact which matter is, how many lives you changed or touched. If you changed none, you wasted your life.

There are other things also on personal life and I will share them in future if time allowed.

5 Life lessons for professional Life

1) Hard work always pays. Never ever give up your dreams

Nothing pays like hard work. It always yields into big fortune. All you need is patience and more hard work. I ardently believe in the quote of Thomas Edison:

“Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration”.

This hard work should be directed also towards any particular goal. That goal is your dream. Always dream big. Do not be scared of obstacles. Hard work is the basis for everything worthwhile you will achieve in life. There’s no easy way to do hard work. You have to find your passion; stay focused, and keeps at the task until the job is done. You have to stay obsessively motivated.

I have worked very hard to make this blog. It’s not among the top blogs in world, but it surely is on the right track. In short time of one year, it is ranked much above many old established blogs. It has brought a lot of attention from quality minds towards me, my work and has brought some money also 😉 . I always knew that hard work pays, now I believe it also.

Read More : How to start a new blog

2) Learn anything new everyday. Make everyday count

This has been my motto of life from long time, specially when I started blogging. I specifically search for the topics which I do not know about. I create a list of such topics. and try to learn them as much as possible. At least one topic per day. Being a human being sometimes I skip it, but I always to try to clear this backlog with more speed only.

Please do not confuse here with only tech related items. Find something in your personal life as well or your hobby or your creativity. Anything new. e.g. making a particular dish, learning a new magic trick or read everything about a cool app. You can put anything in this list.

So far, for me rewards has been much more than my expectations. I have got a lot of confidence at work place. I have never failed in any technical interview in last one year. That’s a very fascinating thing for many people. Well, I achieved it just by following this simple rule. Try yourself.

3) We are better when we are connected. Make connections

This is actually the punch line in ‘Bank of America’, my present employer. But this fact I had learned much before joining the bank. You must have heard that Man is a social animal. If you want to grow in professional life, make contacts and keep them alive. These connections will help you when you are struck in complex situations. You can get more growth opportunity, because you are the one, everybody knows.

Here, I am not recommending any kind of flattering to anybody. Flattering though succeed sometimes, but not in long run. All, I am asking is to socialize. Learn about family members of your colleagues. Talk about them. Make offline conversations personal. Make colleagues your friends. Do not ping them always for meetings. Ask them to have cup of tea in cafeteria. Same goes for your clients. Log into meetings 10 minutes before start, and if they are available, talk to them about their family, their culture, their festivals or anything you can think of. All such things transform into large number of connections you will have in industry.

4) Never hesitate in asking questions. Make active participation in meetings

I have been a lazy person in starting of my career. I was also very shy because of various reasons. Whenever team meeting happened at that time, I was almost quite in all of them. Sometimes I had questions, but I hesitated in asking them. You know what, they never got answered. Any question you never ask, will never get answered. As simple as it is.

The opportunities I lost at that time, I still can remember easily because they were just too bright to loose. I lost them. But, I will never do the same mistake in future. Actually, I have improved a lot in this area.

Lesson: Gain confidence. Always have a word in team meetings, seminars or town-halls. Make your presence noticed.

5) Communication skills are your best weapon. Sharp them everyday

Most of you agree that English the most dominating language for various reasons. I respect my mother tongue ‘Hindi’ very much and prefer to talk in my personal life. But I can easily say that English is more important for making a rewarding life in our industry. English is de-facto global language. Your work responsibilities require you to communicate with people with different culture, and language. English fills the gap. So if you want to communicate with them, master the language. Once you master the language, more opportunities come in your way.

Please note that when I am saying English is important, it means a good command over the English language. You should communicate effectively. You should have a good command over vocabulary also. It is the first step towards above four lessons too. It can put a lot of confidence in you, so that you can succeed on above four points as well.

There has been other things, which I wanted to talk about, but leaving them for now to limit this post.

I will appreciate if you share your thoughts with us. I really want to know about you as well.

Happy Learning !!